Pleasant Hill

Tue, 06/14/2016 - 23:34 -- dericka

 

I've been guilty of my actions and not wanting to take the blame,

 I've brushed it off and put my weight on another man’s shoulders thinking my sins will soon go away.

It's wrong,

 knowing I knew better,

I didn't know what better I knew.

Finally, I came to a Pleasant Hill and found out he was the man I handed my flaws to.

Being raised in a church,

Praying before every meal,

And bending down on my knees worshipping the one I knew was ideal.

I must admit,

 I understood the rules and regulations of Christ to the fullest,  

And there's no way around it.

So there's no running, ducking, hiding.

There's no beating around the bush.

Every breath and step I take is being recorded,

My evidence has been gathered and collected faster than any investigator.

He is more accurate than any other individual.

His name?

His name is God.

And without him I wouldn't be able to do what I love the most.

I wouldn't be able to touch this pen and scribble on this paper about his glorious name.

I wouldn't be able to stand and speak in front of a quiet crowd and spread the sweetness of the name of Jesus.

I wouldn't be able to hug this art the way I should without him.

The fact that I tried is wrong.

How dare I lie?

How dare I cheat?

How dare I walk around in public and fuss, fight, and cuss like a sailor. 

Knowing that I should be spreading his word and thanking him for his mercy.

Who am I to shut my life off,

 and sit in a hot room and eat all day because I am sad?.

When knowing he gave me this life for a purpose.

And here I was,

  I’d believed my past haunted my present,

while my present made my future a victim of murder.

He made no mistakes in my past, present, or future.

 Everything is for a reason,

His reason.

I hide my opinionated voice and tears behind society, to show that I am strong.

But love and let go when I'm alone.

But you,

You always remain in attendance of me.

My God, Jah, Dios, Allah, Khodd,

 The all powerful, Almighty, creator, divine being, king of all kings…

My idol.

The selfish I,

 cannot compare to the worthy you.

You sent your son down to earth to warn us

"Beat the bell before the bell beats you.”

And I'm willing.

I'm willing to give up my wild ways for you.

Because you,

 Are worth more than silver and gold.

As I close my eyes at night,

 I know you're there to tuck and hide my fears.

So I'm waving my white flag,

I'm surrendering my soul here.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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