?

I have no words to say

Let the silence pass me by

I meditate and I pray

Yet I can't  fathom the one who calls itself I

It's an empty abyss

It's a one-way turn 

It's a star-kept wish

There's nothing I can learn

Engulfed by my thoughts 

I've set fire to my brain

I feel so trapped and lost

Myy name isn't even my name

I grow everyday 

Watered by confusion and frustration

I'm lied to in everyy way

And man, do I hate it

The higher I reach

The further I fall

I expected to feel one and each

But I feel it all

I'm going crazy

And I know why

The answer evades me

Who am I ?