Pointless Suffering

Oh my love how my soul aches for you yet logic turns me away. At night you may count sheep but I count my heart beats, each one for you. It's been three months nut sometimes it feels like that night under the stars, each "last kiss" stalling the departure we knew of weeks ago. My darling how my arms crave your warmth, my nose your little kisses, and my fingers your beautiful midnight hair. I miss your strong arms wrapping around me and holding me safe, saying you will never let me go and letting me sleep there. I forget the bad and the hurt and the hard feelings and don't realize how your absence kills me until the tears turn cold on my pillow. Dearest love I haven't told you those three words in a long three months and wihth each time I long to say it a petal is loosed from my heart. Soon all that shall be left is a tiny closed bud, wet with the dew of my tears until the radiance of one that I can't even imagine loving as much as you makes it bloom. I still won't say it because I don't know if you will listen.