Poison Control

I could sit in a room full of people
Who don't even know me
And almost collapse, thinking they all hate me.
I could sit in a room full of people
Who all can claim they know me
And forget about time passing, absorbing the warmth they exude. 

Most days I'd rather talk with my hands
And stare out the window 
Just because I feel so discombublated from my own reality.
There's are things I disagree with, 
Things I'm afraid to speak out against
Because I've stopped trusting my own voice. 

Storm clouds clutter my thoughts
Shadows darken my eyes
And burdens weigh down my smile
I'm losing the sunshine in between catastrophies
Surviving a poison that courses through my veins
Forgetting the reasons I don't put a period to the end of my sentence. 

On our graves there's a hyphen between the year we were born and the year we died.
Our entire lives are summed up in a miniscule line
Where we lived, who we loved, the places we went, the person we were.
I live my life in quotes and snippets of songs that I feel even partially.
Such as I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me. 
But the quote doesnt tell all the bruises that you get along the way

I guess there's a million ways for everyone to say that its going to be okay.
That there's always tomorrow.
But I didnt think I'd make it this far. 
The sun burns in the morning
And the night is painfully numb
I'd rather not be silent versus I'd rather be dumb.