Porcelain Mask
I wish someone would ask why my mask is cracked
I wish they would pry it away and find the scars under it I hide
to expose the rotting peeling flesh of depression
and the putrid green colouration of anxiety
to see that smiling eyes are not always an indication that everything is alright
that I am not fine
To see the words carved into my skull
hopeless, usless, pointless, careless
worthless
enscribed into my mind
a consistant reminder the mask is there for a reason
a mask I must never remove
I must wear it like a second skin
until my real one falls apart at the seams of my sanity
insanity quelled by smiling silence
the smiling silence of the perfect daughter
a doll to be put on display for others to consume
drink the porcelain in until it cuts their throats
grasping out
When I and only I know I'm broken
cracked, chipped, ever so slightly that you can't tell unless you stare
but once you do
you wish you hadn't