Portfolio Funny Poem Collection - 2

Portfolio Of My Funny Poems Poem One You Miserable Son Of A Bitch When we first met It was about beds never made No clothes All day long No make up on To leave a trace Or get in the way Sex all night long And all day That even took The neighbours breath away Where did the love go You cannot leave me Just like this Try as hard as you want You cannot move on You miserable son of bitch You don’t know this But you cannot get laid Even if your life depended on it You are just a loser That I took pity on That cannot get it on And could not possibly get laid Even if your life depended on it You don’t know this But everyone else does You are just a loser That I took pity on That cannot get it on And could not possibly get laid Even if your life depended on it You miserable son of a bitch You don’t know this You are no Cassanova You are no fantasy You are not what dreams are made of But far from it Just a cheap bastard And a bankruptcie That I wasted my life with I am the best thing That ever happened to you You on the other hand Was born to lose I on the other hand Happen to be too good to be true That took pity on you Other wise you are the most unpopular guy And nobody likes you You are just a loser That I took pity on That cannot get it on And could not possibly get laid Even if your life depended on it You don’t know this But everyone else does You are just a loser That I took pity on That cannot get it on And could not possibly get laid Even if your life depended on it Poem Two Panic Attack Panic Attack Panic Attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack And I don’t know how to get out of it Someone just get me out of it It’s like the writing is on the wall again It’s once again happening like it used to back then It’s like all four walls are closing in on me I can’t seem to breathe I can’t seem to catch a break Let alone get a headstart or make Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck It’s like being on top of Sears Tower Or maybe it is the Leaning Tower of Pisa Or the London Bridge is falling down And it feels like one big fall Or maybe it’s nine eleven all over again And seven eleven no longer a Foreigner’s game And the melting pot was just some southern chef’s name Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck it’s like all four walls are closing in on me Someone get me out of it I can’t seem to breathe I can’t seem to catch a break let alone get a headstart Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Maybe it’s sky diving from Ellison’s private jet not a lie And it turns out to be the ride of your life Instead of just a personal high Maybe it’s like going to the six flags And paying someone to scare the hell out of you And you paying for that ride you blew Only to find out it was all part of the plan who knew Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck it’s like all four walls are closing in on me Someone get me out of it I can’t seem to breathe I can’t seem to catch a break let alone get a headstart Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Panic attack panic attack panic attack Panic attack panic attack panic attack It’s happening once again like it used to And I don’t know how to get out of it Panic attack panic attack panic attack Panic attack panic attack panic attack It’s like all four walls are closing in on me Someone get me out of it I can’t seem to breathe Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack panic attack panic attack It’s like the writing is once again on the wall I can’t seem to catch a break let alone get a headstart Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack And I don’t know how to get out of it It’s like all four walls are closing in on me Someone get me out of it I can’t seem to breathe I can’t seem to catch a break let alone get a headstart Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack And I don’t know how to get out of it Someone just get me out of it It’s like all four walls are closing in on me I can’t seem to breathe I can’t seem to catch a break Let alone get a headstart Panic attack, panic attack, panic attack Panic attack, panic attack, panic atatck Poem Thtee I Am One Hot Calliente Number I am so cool Oh so so cool Simply irrestible That I make you drool Oh so sexy ah so cool So cool and so sexy So cool so cool so sexy sexy so cool Simply irrestible ThatI I make you drool Baby I am that cool I am one hot hot calliente number If only I could find a rich guy hot as Carribean summer It would be sweet May December Whether I am drinking tea in June or November I am always one cool cucmber My sexy walk will get you so hot That it will drive you out of your slumber My hot body will make you feel Like you are straight out of the movies dumb and dumber And I can make you swing wild like a Cherovelet Hummer I am like an intoxicating wine That just keeps getting better and better each time When you are with me you do not need a reason or rhyme I am all about showing you a good time I am not some cheap floozy That comes cheap like some cheap wine When you are with me you better not be a scrub or a slime And you just cannot just throw me a line I am a wild thing and you will be mine Because nothing but the best will do And I am the real deal and all genuine I am so cool Oh so so cool Simply irrestible That I make you drool Oh so sexy ah so cool So cool and so sexy So cool so cool so sexy sexy so cool Simply irrestible ThatI I make you drool Baby I am that cool Poem Four When I Think Of You When I think of you I touch myself and moan your name This feeling I just cannot control That runs in my veins The way you set my body aflame My world rocks and My life no longer feels the same I do not feel ashamed When I think of you I touch myself and I moan your name Is it all in my head Or is it just a game Who do I hold accountable And who do I blame I see a picture of you and I In this beautiful frame With you constantly by my side This world no longer feels lame Where nothing but you and I exist And to this world I do proclaim It is not about your fortune And it is not about fame It is the way you make me feel in my veins This feeling I just cannot control And in my heart you do reign When I think of you I touch myself and moan your name This feeling I just cannot control That runs in my veins The way you set my body aflame My world rocks and My life no longer feels the same I do not feel ashamed When I think of you I touch myself and I moan your name My life now has a new meaning And now has an aim To this whole wide world I do want to shout and do want to exclaim That you and I belong together And I do not feel ashamed When I feel like this about you It cannot just be in my head and just a game The way you come into my dreams And whisper my name My heart melts and My nights are no longer the same I just want to shout on top of my lungs And to this world I do want to proclaim That I am madly in love with you And love is the name of the game When I think of you I touch myself and moan your name This feeling I just cannot control That runs in my veins The way you set my body aflame My world rocks and My life no longer feels the same I do not feel ashamed When I think of you I touch myself and I moan your name Poem Five Please Don’t Stop The Music Please don’t stop Please keep it playing It’s food for the soul As we all know Please don’t stop This feeling in my veins That I just cannot contain I don’t want fortune I don’t need fame As long as I have music plays in my veins Music makes me wanna dance It can change your whole life in a glance So why not take the chance And lets romance It always sets me in the mood And makes me wanna groove It speaks to my heart From the very start And makes my wanna rock I don’t want this music to stop Whether it is reggae or pop And dance till I drop And dance till I drop Music makes me carefree Music makes me wanna party It makes me wanna jump and jive Ah this beautiful sight Sexy ladies all around me tonight Oh it feels so right I am going to dance all night From midnight until the morning sun shines bright I think I am in heaven tonight Music always puts me on a high It makes me wanna fly And makes me wanna smile This is the way to die There is clarinet in the background Along with drums Which makes me wanna hum With music running through my veins And you by my side And this beautiful music inside Life no longer feels like a compromise Music fills my heart with joy Whether I am in love Or just wanna cry It puts a song in my heart And spring in my walk Oh what a wonderful feeling It is the most precious feeling Wouldn’t you agree That is why this is my silent plea Let music play Let my happiness stay Music always sets me free Please don’t stop Please keep it playing It’s food for the soul As we all know Please don’t stop This feeling in my veins That I just cannot contain I don’t want fortune I don’t need fame As long as I have music plays in my veins Song Six Maybe Maybe Baby Baby You and I You can’t deny You and I You can’t deny I am on a high I want to reach the sky I do want to meet My pretty pretty sweet You make my heart go fast I want it to last You may think I am shy But I am not that kind of guy You are my sugaah You are my honey I wouldn’t trade you For any money My sweet sensation My eye candy With you my life is dandy One thing is for sure I love you sugaah Maybe Maybe Baby Baby Maybe Maybe Baby Baby You and I You can’t deny You and I You can’t deny I am on a high I want to reach the sky You are my poem You are my song My reason for living From years beyond With you by my side I will never fail to strife This perfect feeling I wanted all my life I walk on the cloud I just wanted to shout You are mine And I am yours When I am with you I belong You and I You can’t deny You and I I want to reach the sky You are my sunshine You are my smile I am on a high Give me a five I have been looking for you all my life Now I have you by my side I want you to know I will never let it go When I am melancholy I miss you heavenly One and only love of my life When I say this Don’t take it amiss You are mine Like a good wine Don’t say you cannot take the heat It is a lovely beat You and I You can’t deny I am on a high I want to reach the sky I am on a high I want to reach the sky Don’t be a tease Stay with me please Don’t ever leave me You are my shady tree Your love is for free I want you in my life Never ever trivialize How much I love you I will count to seven Take me to heaven Don’t let me down I am not a clown Just lay your head With you in my bed You and I You can’t deny I am on a high I want to reach the sky You can’t deny Don’t be too long Nothing can go wrong I am not on my own I won’t be gone We two belong With you in my arms You are in no harm You are like a summer breeze I will never freeze My love for you is forever Don’t mock it ever Believe me when I say this I love you without malice Do you still have a question? Of my intention You are my cup a tea I love you baby You and I You can’t deny I am on a high I want to reach the sky Song Seven Rebel with A Cause I am a rebel with a cause I will not pause Until you hear me out And hear my voice Who the hell Is giving you a choice I am out to make some noise Let’s roll up our sleeves And roll the dice Let’s rejoice Let’s rejoice Run baby run Run baby run Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down And have some fun Life is all about fun It is the equation of all sum Adrenalin is the bullet I carry in my loaded gun You should know this by now hun I am game for Anything and everything under the sun So when you are out with me Consider it done This life is nothing But unadulterated fun Run baby run Run baby run Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down And have some fun Do not worry about tomorrow It is all about today Who the hell has seen tomorrow Life can be filled with sorrow So go ahead and borrow Some pure joy and fun And put some adrenalin In your marrow After all this pill is not hard to swallow So screw tomorrow And do follow And accept this challenge I dare you fella Let the fun colors of this world Be your rainbow After all what have you got to lose Romeo I am giving this to you Point blank at ground zero Run baby run Run baby run Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down And have some fun So go ahead and make merry Pick up a glass And pour some sherry Life is about fun Do not worry Or you will regret it And you will be sorry It is time to go out and have some fun So do bury All your worries Fun is right up my alley Because hell hath no fury When death comes knocking dearie Why waste life Like there is no hurry Why be sorry When life can be fun and jolly And lived freely Run baby run Run baby run Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down Jump up Jump down And have some fun Poem Eight Things That Puts A Smile On My Face [Chorus] When I am feeling the blues And I am feeling sad I think of all my favorite things And then I no longer feel bad And this world once again feels like a heavenly place And puts a smile on my face When I am feeling the blues And I am feeling sad I think of all my favorite things And then I no longer feel bad And this world once again feels like a heavenly place And puts a smile on my face [Stanza] Sunrise view from my balcony Birds chirping every morning Silver lining in every cloud in the skies Rainbows turned upside down echoing my every smile Smell of fresh cut grass with sprinklers on Walking barefoot feels like a new romance April showers that make me feel like I am in love Raindrops that feel like dew drops from heaven above Watching the sunset on the shoreline coast My racing boat and my champaign toast My favorite Redwood tree with hammock on a deserted island My favorite beach with endless white sand Snowcapped mountains with breathtaking waterfall Path below strewn with streams and rocks in a sprawl Comforter in my favorite color of downy clouds of white My favorite dress and my very favorite guy Icecream sundae with caramel toppings Hot chcolate with marshmellow feels comforting Perfect tropical weather with ocean smell in the air Box of candies that I cannot get enough of not fair Long stemmed roses that came with it in a beautiful vase With a beautiful card calligraphed with my very own name My favorite rock music at full blast My red dancing shoes that makes me last First day of snow through my window a heavenly sight Snow sledding feels like a kid in me making it right Friday night watching horror movies a scream Brad Pitt my date a hooray dream Letting my hair down and welcoming the world with open arms I am so glad I am alive and this world once again feels like a charm [Chorus] When I am feeling sad And this world feels like a lonely place I think of all my favorite things And this world all of sudden feels like an inredibly beautiful place When I am feeling sad And this world feels like a lonely place I think of all my favorite things And this world all of sudden feels like an incredibly beautiful place Poem Nine And Nothing Seems To Be Going My Way When nothing seems to be going my way And it does not seem to be my day And everything is at fast and furious pace And this world feels like one mad rat race Thinking of my favorite things always puts a smile on my face And thinking of my favorite things always puts a smile on my face I am an adrenalin junkie I cannot hide I am a foodie I do not deny I live for the weekends this I do vouch veForbidden pleaures takes my breath away And my heart still lies in the good old sinful San Francisco Bay My fruit juice spiked gives me a kick for a while Extra topping on my sundae makes me smile Bungee jumping from the skyscrapers maybe old news now (a thing of the past) Sky diving from Mars NASA can make it a fad somehow (steadfast) Getting home speeding like I own the highway Not getting caught by the cops still a high even today All women fawning over me to feel me under my shirt Becuse when I am naked I look like the sexiest man on earth Drag racing someday will be the ultimate solar sport And not just meant for rich people who own yachts and boats Tallest building in the world as your home a dream I hope it’s not in Seattle it rains too much there and down stream Owning the country someday may become a trendy tide Maybe Larry Ellison can one day set the pace and make it ride Path ahead filled with endless rose blossoms as a beam Rocky roads just for forrest destinations and a scream Going to the mountain top and hearing the echo of your name It feels like the whole world belongs to you and it’s your game And everything sinful under the sun still catches the attention It’s like all your dreams have come true beyond your wildest imagination When nothing seems to be going my way And it does not seem to be my day And everything is at fast and furious pace And this world feels like one mad rat race Thinking of my favorite things puts a smile on my face And thinking of my favorite things puts a smile on my face I am an adrenalin junkie I cannot hide I am a foodie I do not deny I live for the weekends this I do vouch Forbidden pleaures takes my breath away My heart still lies in the good old sinful San Francisco Bay Song Ten Monica O My Darling Monica O my darling Our mind sometimes plays tricks on us In this world Some people are born magicians One look at them and you are lost forever Never ever fall for them Or you will be lost forever Pay up Pay up Pay up This world is a prison These special people who weave their magic on us You may not be aware of this But sometimes the prey on others Try avoiding them So that they walk into the prison of your arms themselves Hard as you may try You cannot escape their love If you are not careful You will end up falling hard They are sweet torturer Whatever you say This you cannot escape What’s meant to happen will happen And one look at them And you will be lost forever Monica O my darling Our mind sometimes plays tricks on us In this world Some people are born as magicians One look at them and you are lost forever Whatever you do Never ever fall for them Or you will be lost forever Pay up Pay up Pay up They will keep you up all night While the whole world is sleeping You will be lost in their world If your eyes meet You will no longer be yourself You will lose control And will be lost forever You will have no control over your feelings Listen carefully to what their eyes are saying Run away as fast as you can Or you will never know what will happen next They have such a sensuous walk They have a dangerous look People completely lose control You will be left wounded on the floor That is the power they have on you Run before it becomes true Whatever you do Play safe Monica O my darling Our mind sometimes plays tricks on us In this world Some people are born as magicians One look at them and you will be lost forever Never ever fall for them Or you will be lost forever Monica O my darling Our mind sometimes plays tricks on us In this world Some people are born as magicians One look at them and you are lost forever Whatever you do Avoid them Whatever you do Don’t fall for them Or you will be lost forever Pay up Pay up Pay up {Reference : Bollywood songs Monica O my darling and Duniya mein logon ko dhoka kabhi ho jata hai}