Portrait

I try but at times I get tired 

and I feel like I should be exactly what you've preconceived me to be 

abandoning any facet of transparency or authenticity 

but then again your ideal lies in an idealized portrait of me 

you see real eyes realize the illegitimacy of a self portrayed portrait 

marginalizing one's own idiosyncrasies 

I'm staring at a blank canvas in which the landscape is me 

and therein lies the bastardized travesty