Poseidon be Wildin'

“Husband” in Greek

With muscles strong enough to navigate the seas,

Poseidon dominates Instagram feeds

A flawless visage that makes everyone seek

The best skincare remedies

With a sunset-colored surfboard he flies

Alone in the waters, the sun captures his eyes

Which shine an enticing blue that just feels right

The kind that you’d want to see in your bedroom tonight

He’s the kind of guy she’d tell you not to worry about

A gentlemanly prince without a doubt,

When infuriated, his character spins 180 degrees south

The bad guy out there, crowned with a cheeky pout

His mischievous antics will take you to many unplanned routes

Pulls up in his fresh Lamborghini, which he named “Chariot Horses”

Sexting nudes and quaking beds with his 8-inch trident spear forces

Moans and jerks that could be heard all the way from Mount Olympus

Skyrockets his body count high, all the way to the nimbus

Brother of Zeus and Hades

Stacking up on condoms to avoid fathering babies

Fucking bitches or hoes like batshit crazy

Gets blasted by fam for seeming too fucking lazy

He dons his aviator glasses ‘cause “The haters throw shade at me.”

This damn motherfucker is a big ass fish in Tinder’s dating scene