Pray

I prayed the pain away.

I prayed the tears would stop falling.

I prayed the steady beat of my heart to fade into nothing.

I prayed the thought of my life is going no where would stop reoccurring.

I prayed to be lead in a direction.

I prayed to be set free.

I prayed to be understood.

I prayed to be heard.

I prayed to be loved.

I prayed to be deaf.

I prayed to be blind.

I prayed to be dumb.

I prayed that I could find something to believe in.

I prayed to find something I understood.

I prayed to find a reason to continue living.

I prayed to find you, yet again.

But I’m still praying.

If there was a God wouldn’t he at least send me a prayer to start believing.

I’m faithless because everything I’ve ever believed in let me down.

God is dead, he stopped caring awhile ago, like I did.