Pretend

Five years old, my favorite game is something I call make-pretend

This game is a world in itself

Where everything exists in the palm of my hand

And everything is innocent

Words like war and hate are obsolete

Because this game all depends on one thing and that is happiness

And the adventures are endless

There are mountains to climb, rainforests to explore, fairy tale dances to attend

See, the only condition was that I deny reality

That“adult” world in existence around me

And thus I could live happily

ever

after

Fast forward ten years later,

and I am still playing this game of pretend.

But now the mountains are smaller and across them I see valleys

And the rainforests are thinning everyday

And the dances are never quite as extravagant

But I pull the blinds over my eyes

And convince myself that everything is as it should and has been.

But the ghost of truth will always haunt me

And the truth is that-

I am a liar.

And the truth is that I live in a carnival full of liars,

Who, like me, are denying the reality of a world falling to pieces.

We are all living the lie that

If we just pretend,

And somehow fake our way through this  pain,

That our problems will just cease to exist.

We’re gluing hard shells over hollow hearts

Hoping to hide the brokenness living inside

Saying things like,

“everything is great, everything is fine”

Out of sight is out of mind.

But what about the girl with scars on both arms, alone, yet surrounded by people?

Look the other way.

It’s alright.

And what about that man who is begging on the street corner

Clothes tattered, tired, worn

Sign says, “hasn’t worked for four months”

Look the other way

It’s alright.

Kids are being sold into slavery

the family just down the street is hungry

And the boy on your right hates his own life

And all we say is

Just look away

Just Turn your head

And everything will be okay.

But tell me,

when was it ever okay?

When were you ever just okay?

When you felt

alone, abandoned, rejected, abused, neglected, forgotten, beaten, bruised

All you said was,

“I’m good. How are you?”

Seven billion souls are screaming out

and their screams are drowned by the silence of the proud.

All we are doing is making the screams louder and louder and louder

Until they become nothing more than traffic noise.

But I am determined to make my scream heard.

And I will strain my ears until i can hear the screams of those around me.

Because I cannot play this game of pretending any longer

I refuse to be called a liar

I refuse to burn in the flames of this epidemic fire.

I will take down the canopy

Draped around me

Like a shield blocking out the swords of the enemy.

Because all along

I have been the enemy.

So i will submit to the shame of honesty

and with it i will bury

that game I once called

make-pretend.