Pretending to Be

I laugh along with you in my head
I hold your hand while alone in bed
I hope to god you notice me
But not my insecurities

I try to be perfect for you
I try to be smart and funny and sweet
But it's all in vain
You're too busy looking at everyone other than me

I smack my face 
And bite my nail
Comping with the thought of you and me
I can't help but see

You are what I need
Like a drug
But you run from me
Like I was a nasty bug

Do you even notice me
I'm crying out to help you see
And if you read my poetry
You'll see how broken I can really be

Who would want a broken body
Holding them to the ground
When they have wings
And need to fly around

I hope to god you notice me
But not my insecurities
They might be all I have left
But I'll hide them for you

And while we're best of friends
You know so little of how I truly am
I hide it from you
So you don't see how terrible I can really be

But one day I swear
I'll close my eyes and open up
And someone will love me
But until then

I'll lock it down
And shut it out for you
And pretend to be happy
Just promise me

Hold my hand
Take my heart
Laugh with me
And lets be happy.