The Price of "Friendship"

When I entered middle school it wasn't quite as I had planned

Sure people were 'nice' and everything

But there were unspoken demands

Like what to say, and how to dress and even how to stand

It became a lot for me

But I managed pretty well

Most of the time I had enough

So that my image I could sell

Of being one of the cool kids-

Until demands began to swell

By the time I reached the seventh grade

I was halfway buried in the sand

All the expectations piled up

I was putty in their hands

It was because

Being exactly who I was

Was what I feared the most

I didn't have everything that other people

Used so much to boast

So I curled myself into a ball you could fit into your hand

I felt alone and by myself

Cause who could ever understand?

While I was trying to gain some friends

I was losing who I was

I thought "People really like me,"

Without knowing who does

It continued on like this for a very lonesome while

It began to feel like ages since I had genuinely smiled

Having "friends" around me wasn't as perfect as it seemed

Keeping up was tiring

And I was losing steam

In the year of my ninth grade I began to do reflection

Something was changing inside of me

I began some introspection

More often than not

I partook in some deep thought

And began to think quite suddenly

'Everything I am cannot be bought'

I began doing things I wanted

Like dancing in the streets

I was definitely catching stares moving to my own beat

But I was really happy

So all I could think was "who cares?"

It took me quite a while to know that I was beautiful in all

That in order to fit in

I didn't need to feel so small

Through this process I developed not only confidence but gall

That's why I believe being who I am

Is what is most awesome of all

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741