The Prince-lor

In the faraway kingdom of Denmark
A Young and Restless prince consults a lark.
The prince to the bird asks the old question
Which princess shall I choose to come beckon?
 

Of France, so fair is she, a head of curls
and eyes shining deep they Dance With the Stars.
But when she arrived to the palace in
Rags she could be mistaken for a czar!

Of Sweden, filled with Nordic blood, fiesty
Is she. Alas a Survivor of the
North strong children she will bring. But when she
Burst open the doors on arrival, so
Round was she she could not fit through the aisles!

Of England, a rose amidst a bloody
Royal battle of brothers. Beautiful
and educated is she to align.
But when she marched into the gates, she could
Be mistaken for her Big Brother! A
Ghastly proposal I sure must decline.

The lark flew from the hopeless prince, alone
With his rotten suitors. No princesses
Are they, he mused, they all must be neutered!

Outside a storm raged on as the pseudo
Princesses pestered the soon to be king,
When the guards threw upon the palace doors
With a thunderous ding. There stood a girl
Not like the others: not too short, fat, loud
and more beautiful than another. The
Prince, fed up with fallacious princesses
Planned to turn her away, but an idea
Sprang forth and the prince decided to play.

You may stay, he says, but just one thing: a
Room has not been made for you. You must stay
In our mattress room atop twenty stuffed
Mattresses and feather beds: only few!
The girl agrees and thanks the prince for his
Generosity. The prince's spirit
Rises with hope as she has The Voice of
virtuosity. The night comes to an
End and the inhabitants go to sleep.

The Prince sleeps well knowing his marvelous
Plan is coming to be. Underneath the
Twenty beds lay a small, singular pea.
A true princess in such a circumstance
Would not be able to sleep! He snores away.

The girl, however, stayed awake all night
Bothered by an unknown force out of sight.
She tossed and turned into the dawn and dusk
Careful not to roll off her beds into
Certain death! When the prince returned and helped
Her down she told of her night with a frown.

The prince, instead, was joyous with her news.
A princess, at last, for him to marry
True! A red rose from his heart he offered
To the newly crowned Princess of Denmark!
Sent home to their barbaric lands were the
Others sent, and the newly weds enjoyed
A night in the Prince-lor's Pad with consent.