Privacy Invasion

Dear rapist,

I yelled stop inside my head

But the words never left my mouth.

Tears fell from my face.

I hid under covers to conceal my pain.

Once again I was lied to.

Blinded by the caring compliments.

Innocence was stripped from me.

As I laid quietly, shaking.

Used and abused, 

I slowly forgot how to speak.

Silence shrouds my daylit room.

I am left alone.

Wishes of death drove my home.

Wondering who I have left to confide in.

Alone in a park, I cried.

Wondering where you went.

Two years passed

And still, I wonder.

Was it stirred emotions,

Or was I blind to the obvious intentions devotion?

Subconsciously I live in fear.

Trust now treasure never to be found.

Scares unseen by the people around.

I carry them on my heart.

Last month I saw you at my job.

Thoughts turned to tangled yarn.

Frozen, stuck sweat, fear.

I thought I had ridded you.

Dear subconscious,

I thought they were ghosts.

Please rid these memories, feelings.

Desensitize me.

I wonder,

What makes the river flow again,

And the cherries blossom?

Apologies? Pain?

No, you are not the only one hurt.

Rest.

Prevail.

Time is the true mender to you.

-JC