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Dear Pain,

When will you end. When will your annoying tactics and constant reminders detach from my life. I hate that you show up all the time-- like I ask you to be here. I'm tired of you-- it's funny because my grandma told me 'young people don't get tired'.  So for her sake-- I'm drained. I'm lost and confused— with and without you. Yes, you. I hate the way you make me feel, like I should quit and stop trying. Yet I love it when you surround me, ensuring that success is in my future. Pain, I'm sorry you have a bad rep with the fetus', young, and immature. Don't even worry about them-- I know what you’re thinking-- ‘How can I be the one to talk?-- I’m in the same boat! But to be real, without you in my life -- in alternative constant comfort. I'd be on your bad side, your permanent side. Pain, I know what you're here for and I know the plans you have for my life. We’re so close we can see each other for who we really are-- you see me as: insecure, weak, lazy, and lost. And I see you as: loyal, honest, brutal, and harsh. You bring out the best in me, and everything I hate about myself. I remember when we first met, you were in and out of my life-- because of my choices of course. But I hated you, I couldn’t see your vision. Even now, things get blurry. But the more I attach to you, and the harder I push through, you let go for a bit. Making it clear everything’s going to be alright. You know you get on my nerves-- your taps to slaps, pushes and shoves, then pinches to punches. Pain, our relationship is so crazy-- love and support can be so tough to appreciate and recognize in the moment. Not like I appreciate you enough- or recognize your intentions right off the bat. But I can say that I have no regrets for your uninvited appearances in the past and I look forward to you bullying me on an hourly basis in the near future. Pain, thank you for your tough love and brutal honesty -- I know my feelings might portray the total opposite,but the negative feelings you’ve given me force me to grow stronger. I’ve become so strong certain appearance’s from you don’t hurt, but they encourage me to thrive in whatever situation I’m in. In all, Pain you’ve saved me from my stunted growth, and broke down my walls of comfortable failure to promising-far sighted success. You gave me heart, honesty, discipline, and fight. Thanks for becoming my best friend, who’s loyalty is thicker than blood. A friend who’s always by my side if I hide or run. I write this letter to you for appreciation and truth. Since your presence means so much to me-- you have no clue.

Best wishes,

Ciana Clinton