Protecting myself

Family

They are everything

To the outsider, we are perfect.

No rough edges. No problems. No imperfections.

No one sees the internal workings of a broken machine.

We fight. We yell. We hurt each other. 

No one is perfect.

Leaving.

I had to protect myself.

But this action of self love was seen as the ultimate sin.

It is a sin to protect yourself from the unforgiving ocean of abuse.

This is what I have been told.

This is what I knew. 

Chosen Family.

They are everything.

To the outsider, we are not perfect.

There are rough edges, problems, imperfections. 

No one sees how the machine runs.

But we love each other.

Help each other.

No one is perfect.

My family. My chosen family.

They both love me.

One expects me to be something I’m not.

One accepts me for who I am. 

I love them both.

But as a queer non-binary person,

I had to make a choice.

I had to save myself.