I hope you’re proud of me

My life is getting better

I don’t think you care

Because I’m a thing of the past

 

You never said you loved me

But you stayed by my side

 

It hurt me

Oh it hurt me so badly

When I realized,

I never really loved you

 

So I was thinkin’ more

The knives are right there

The end it all switch

Is right there

 

I put my hand over my throat

The other on the doorknob

Now dripping with red

My back slides down the wall

 

I always hated the paint 

on these walls

But this isn't quite the color 

I was thinking

 

My mom is yelling for me

My radio too is loud

No one hears my cries

And no one ever sees me in pain

 

I’m not trying to hide it anymore

But you still see that happy little boy

Who could be bleeding

But you’re still blind

 

My blood is seeping under the door

Into the cracks along the floor

But you don’t see it

 

You saw a boy with a future ahead

I see a boy with darkness all around

 

So

I hope you’re proud of me

My life is getting not okay

I’m falling 

But I’m better without you

 

And I’m better off dead

Slit throat

Bloody floor

Limp body 

Surrounded by failures

 

Are you proud of me?

I am what you made me

The ghost of a disgrace

 

—

 

None of this is real

Just a fantasy

Another delusion

An Illusion

That I fancy

 

I’ve made so many mistakes

And I never learn

I’m sorry 

Sorry for all the things I ever did

I wish I never hurt you

 

I’m sorry I can love

I’m not sorry that I’ll never go back

 

Are you proud (are you proud of me?)

Do you take pride

In what I am now (are you proud?!)

Do you hate me for my insanity

My life

That I can’t love you

 

—

 

The wall is stained with red

The floor is covered in red

Maybe we would all better off

If this fantasy came to life

 

-From A Nobody-

-To an old fake friend I will never see again-

 

>I hope things get better for you so this never happens to you<