Proud to be Me

When I was 8 I wore dresses to school

I wasa bullied and teased for looking nice

For wearing dresses and pink and being girly

When I was 13 I stopped wearing dresses

I cut my hair to my chin and I didn't wear pink

And I was asked 'why do you never wear skirts'

They meant  'why don't you dress like a girl'.

Throughout highschool, ages 15 to 17

I grew my hair out

Despite my long hair I dressed like a boy

Pants, PE shorts, loose t-shirts

Whenever I wore makeup people would always be shocked

They'd take extra care to point it out

'youre wearing makeup! you look so pretty!'

'why dont you wear makeup more often?'

I don't like makeup.

In college, I stopped caring

I started wearing dresses again

I wore skirts, I wore crop tops

I got compliments, i was asked out

I said no

Then I cut my hair short

my friends loved it

my family liked it enough

but then i cut it shorter

"you look like a boy"

"you looked better with long hair"

"are you SURE you want it that short"

"i miss your long hair"

"my little girl is all grown up,

and i wish youd kept your hair long"

No.

I look like a boy? Good

I looked better with long hair? Oh well

Am I sure? Yes

You miss it? Too bad

I cut it because I realized something

I don't need to fit your molds

I can wear dresses

I can like pink

I can wear makeup

I'm not a girl

My hair is short because I like it

It's not as 'girly'

For years I was afraid

Afraid of being seen as a girl

Because being a girl was being weak

Being a girl was not who I was

So I stopped wearing dresses

I didn't wear skirts

But now I don't care

I still don't own pink clothing

I still rarely wear makeup

But I dress how I want

Wearing dresses doesn't mean I'm a girl

Liking certain things doesn't mean I'm a girl

Being girly

Does not mean

That I am a girl.

I don't like boys

I don't like girls either

I'm not a girl

And I'm not a boy

I'm nonbinary, I'm aromantic, I'm asexual

I'm me

And I'm proud