Pulse

As soon as I step onto pavement at

The school I now attend, my smile becomes

Affix'd. I must then straighten up my back

And shoulders that are hunching down with weight,

The pressure facing me-- they say conform

And not to clothing, hair, or faddish trends;

But expectations great and small surround

My trembling form-- do this, act that, be this,

Not that-- I crumble bit by bit inside.

Though when I leave, to home, to band or sports,

It changes not-- I am alone, alone.

No screaming, crying, railing 'gainst the sky

Can change my minor lot in life, except--

Every so often this small world I must obey

Gives little freedom to just tweak the rules a tad.

Family and friends help me push and break free for

Blissful moments, the pattern interrupted, until inevitably

I slip-- monotony once more.

And all too soon the pattern is restored.

These precious mem'ries strengthen me until

At last--   I   --      break      --         free         --

unchained

i write

i play

i draw

i sing (badly, but what does it matter, i am free)

my long hair becomes a palette for my creativity

one day a wood sprite

dancing through an expansive forest

laughter

then a regal princess

sweeping down the stairs of her fairytale castle

dignity

create

discover

excitement

i stop

exhilarated (that was--)

exhausted

scared (what do i do now?)

i stop

and quietly i slip back in--

The comforting ba-dum, ba-dum of life

That greets me back with distant welcomings.

And though I wander near and far, my feet

Pursue the soft cadence of pulsing life.

This heart oft yearns for freedom from confine

But falters, frightened, if steps from known design.