Question of Fear

Fear, fear of losing someone or something. Fear of losing your mind,your heart, your soul. Fear of loving or not being loved. My fear is the nothingness I feel. I'm not happy nor sad. I'm not lonely. I feel nothing. why, why am I like this? I watch people pass by happy, smiling and laughing. I envy them. I have to pretend everyday those feelings that everyone feels. It's so exhausting. Why, why am I like this?
Because of HIM.
He stole everything from me. He made me numb and hopeless. That even if one day I say something or someone does something.I will never be ok,  it's to late, never will I feel again. He took everything from me and never cared that he did. Just a child wanting love and receiving torture. So my question is if you feel nothing, how can you fear if you never felt it?

You can't lose something if you never had it.