-Questions with no answer -

I'm in love with 2 different men right now in my life, I love both unconditionally for what reason I can't understand why. One didn't realize how much he loved me until he got locked up and seen I was his only support system and help to keep him going, feed, and busy. The other man I'm in love with has always loved me through any and every situation thick Or thin, but he cheated on me lied to me and sometimes left me lonely. So what is a woman to do?? kick both to the curb and forget every happy, sad, or even sexual moment ?? It's crazy how I'm in love with 2 men who have hurt me and maybe don't care too much for me, but who am I to say that they really don't love me or care for me? My problem is I love so much and so hard it becomes hard to get rid of these feelings and emotions I've built up for them over the years, yeah 6 years and he lies and cheats but he always comes back yearning for my love, my presence, my ability to make him feel like a man, Yet maybe I'm not enough for him in a relationship maybe only as a shoulder to cry on my frustration to devour on. As friends we are better but the boundaries aren't set yet, So what's a woman to do?? ......Some days this man puts the biggest smiles on my face, and some days he makes me shed crocodile tears. Throughout 4 years it's been a roller coaster of emotions woman, men and babies ! I never got my relationship only lust with no love, for the lord is my shepherd and I am his servant but why do I feel the need to serve YOU when all you did was treat me like a welcome Matt stomping, scooting, and rubbing your feet all over me until now, when you need me, You blame yourself for not loving me then when you were free only giving me comfort for a moment or a sweet conversation via text or in person. The love so strong when we meet and connected but not strong enough to keep you all to myself. the love I had was so real for you I did anything to keep you around now your gone and scared to loose me, how? now you see what love I have for you making you rethink about me being your wife, but now you see me drifting away that he who loves me so much now can't bare the thought of me being with another man loving,touching, and understanding, it kills you enough too want to kill me . So what's a Woman to do? find another man to add on her list or find herself and make use to this ? The heart wants what the heart wants, but the question to myself is what do I want ? Love or lies, happy and sad times, shared or lonely moments, mental and physical treatment, lust or trust. Who knows what comes with this journey of love.