A Quiet Place

I just want to find a quiet place.

To go into a field where no one can find me.

To sit amongst the breeze and feel the sunlight on my face. To hear the bees buzz around my head and the dragonflies sing their song as they fly around me.

I want to be without the burden of the thoughts racing through my head. A harkening of the past and a remembrance of the poor decisions I have made. The thoughts that paralyze me and make me stand still, unable to move, in front of the train that is just in front of me.

I want to lay down and take a nap and dream. Dream things that make me smile and make me feel content and whole again.

I’m tired of trying to speak up in the city where everyone is just trying to make it through their day. Where their burdens keep them moving. Carrying their load so heavy that the lightest of my burdens could break their back.

They say “ask for help” yet I know they already carry a heavy load of their own and my weight is not for them to feel obligated to endeavor.

They want to listen but do they? They want to lend a helping hand but can they? Their hands are so full already it would be selfish to ask for it to help pull me through.

I’m selfish. I want them to hear me. I want them to pull me out of the quicksand yet in the same breath...

I just want them to let me sink.