Racing Mind

Dear Ms. Ellie,

Did you know that Bullfrogs never sleep?

And neither do I--

I race at night, coming up with bizarre thoughts,

our escape plan during a domestic fire,

what you would do if your bed could fly.

Sometimes I wish I would stop,

but I know I won’t; it’s useless to wish.

You're scared of being alone, being isolated.

The very thought makes your hands clammy

and chest tighten. If you were truly alone,

you'd be so encompassed by fear

that even I wouldn’t be able to function.

There was a period of time

where you would get lost in grocery stores,

somehow separated from your mom,

who you'd cling to wherever you went.

If you won an award, it would probably be

for being most absent-minded,

but that's not your fault--

It's mine.

Occasionally, I’ll forget where you are or what you're doing

and send you racing into a panic.

You admire your mom a lot,

the way her face looks soft when she works hard,

the way she mouths the words she’s typing.

You hope to be like her someday.

You and your mom and have the same golden, hazel eyes,

so maybe that’s a start.

We've never been anywhere too interesting,

my favorite place to be is at home,

cuddled up with your polar bear of a dog.

Whenever you leave the house, I miss the coat

of fur she sheds on absolutely everything.

If you had a million dollars,

I'd probably tell you to give

it to your parents so they could retire

and wouldn’t have to worry about you and your sister.

I race with thoughts like this all day,

but you probably wouldn’t realize,

that all these wishes and ideas

are all because of me.

Sincerely,

Your Mind