Raging Inside My Life

Raging inside my life

Like a triple tsunami of letters

that I desperately try to pick out

And create sentences with

As each person adds their own opinion

Though shredded by my own whirling confusion

And mixed into what my delusion conscious wants to hear

While I lay dreaming in a calm awakening

Raging inside my stomach

Like an overheated boiler

Built up steam from weeks, not even months

That are released only in mouthfuls

This endless writing

never seeing the sparkle of their eyes

As each ink soaked page is tucked way to never be heard from again

Ignored even in word’s own spaces

Where release is promised

But the bigger mind races

On to new topics

And ignoring the child that would become their own

Leaving that stage of carelessness

And overwhelmed by the sudden surge of dominance

Desperately searching for a balance…

Raging inside my heart

Like and overfilled balloon

Red not with life’s blood

But instead the color of death

In all of it’s forms and times

Red not with loss of life

But the cause of that last breath

Red with the life of others

And the knowledge of what made them happy

Red with self- hate

Raging inside my feet

Like an overcharged Pikachu

Energy boils in wait

In anticipation of each movement

Up, down, left, and right

Eager to bring me to each new discovery

And proud to carry me from danger

Raging inside my shoulders

Like lifting two thousand pounds too much

They are weighted by every other’s cry of pain

And by the curse of observation

Though impossible to turn inwards

My mind races like two children on a trampoline

Overwhelmed by what each neuron brings

Each emotion, discovery, and each impossible solution