furious as I am, I searched for hope within my ravaging soul

 

believing that inside me, a speck still believes in life

 

thinking that beneath all these pain, my logic survives,

 

that amidst this fierce nature

 

within me, still the innocence of a child.

 

but who am I fooling?

 

iI am aching, wasting, and dying,

 

losing every possible reason for me to see how beautiful a sunset after a tempestuous night,

 

how tranquil a blossoming bud in a withering field

 

and how touching a newborn child in a discouraged humanity.

 

the torments of my being taint my judgment,

 

torturing my spirit and shattering the faith, I keep within.

 

i raise my wearies to the heavens, waiting for a miracle to wash all these anguish and to bring back my lost entity…

 

but I was too hurt to listen, to blinded to see and too exhausted to speak,

 

i shut my core, giving up the possibility in every new beginning…

 

rather than defeating my flaws, understanding my world and submitting to the sole savior of my soul,

 

in this raging torrent, I surrender…

 

i let go, left it all behind, succumb to the earth

 

gave up the chance of redemption;

 

washed and broken in this chaotic land,

 

i close my eyes, with hateful tears…

 

i cry to my Creator,

 

who have I become?