rain

Do you know why I hate the rain? This question is kinda contradicting cause i love it the smell, the noise static when it hits rooftops how the droplets gracefully fall but suddenly everything goes still the world goes quiet and so do i no thoughts, no overthinking just silence just light silence not the kind that presses on your chest not the kind that suffocates but something gentle something that almost feels like peace and i think that’s what scares me because i’m so used to the noise the constant hum of thoughts the weight of them stacking layer by layer until silence feels unfamiliar like something i don’t quite trust so when the rain comes and everything inside me finally quiets i don’t know what to do with it because for a moment there’s nothing chasing me nothing pulling at me just stillness and maybe i hate the rain but thats strange to say cause i've always loved it even still what i loved most was how it made everything silent i just hate why its only like this when it rains