Rainy Day

Watching the raindrops falling down from the sky

I'm only reminded of my own pain.

Walking through the hallways everyday

I see people that I had once talked to

I see friendships form, I see couples laugh

I see how happy everyone is.

I smiled, a smile soft but bitter

As I went into my next class.

The rain starts to pour down

As I stand here, staring off into the distance

Holding back the incoming tears.

Walking into my classes

I see "friends" making plans

I see "friends" laughing happily

When I try to speak, I only see blank faces

I see insults and degrading laughter thrown at me

I smile, but inside I'm slowly breaking.

The rain pours down harder

Soaking me and everything around me

People walk by under umbrellas, laughing and talking

As I stand alone, wondering when the pain will stop.

A bittersweet smile makes its way on my face

I realize, then, that my smiles are becoming faker and faker.

Standing here in this pouring rain, I realized

That I wanted to scream, to cry

To fade away and disappear

To die and be forgotten, just like the raindrops on my head

To be forgiven, to be able to speak again

To be able to forgive, and to be able to let go

Of all the pain buried deep inside my heart.

I want to be held in someone's arms, surrounded by their warmth

I want to be happy again.

The rain splashes down on my face

As my tears mixed with the rain

Finally letting the heart-breaking pain consume me

Crumpling onto the rain-soaked sidewalk

The raindrops and the tears dropping on the concrete

I cry for the overwhelming loneliness

Hoping that one day, I won't be alone anymore

Hoping that one day, I'll forgive myself

Hoping that one day, I'll be able to smile once again.