Rainy Day Snacks

by 939761

April 5, 2022

Hopping from the bus he trots through puddles,

Rain boots squeaking on the concrete.

He watches small friend groups huddle

Together when they meet.

Passing mossy bricks and fences,

He turns into an alley.

Glancing about, his heart tenses,

Seeing a wall painted in talleys.

He pulls out a paper sack

Filled with leftover lunch meat.

“Come on out. I’ve brought you a snack”

He whispers, while cars echo down the street.

From the shadows a little paw crept out

Followed by the head, torso, and tail.

It was a little dog with a scar across his snout,

His fur the color of a rusted nail.

“Here you go.” said the boy

Holding sliced salami in his hand.

The little dog snarfed with joy,

As the boy squatted in the muddy sand.

Patting the puppy on the head

He watched it munch away.

“I’m glad you like it,” the boy said

“And I wish that I could stay.”

“But I gotta go home now,

Soon it will be dark.”

He got up with a bow;

The pup replied with a bark.

Walking away the boy gave a wave

Trying to contain his sorrow.

He thought of the next day and what the puppy may crave,

As he called out, “Same time tomorrow!”

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Comments (4)

931535Apr 6, 2022

Stage: A child feeding a puppy. Tone: Solemn/bittersweetLanguage & Lit. Devices: Good use of imagery. Structure & Layout: No issues here!<div> </div>

931535Apr 6, 2022

makayladavisApr 6, 2022

Set the StageThe tone is kind of sorrowful. The poem is speaking to the reader. This poem makes me feel sorry for the dog but also happy that the boy brings him food every day Language and Literary DevicesI think the lines when the boy is with the dog and when he is juming in the puddles are imaginative. I think every line is in an order that makes sense and makes the poem enjoyable to read. Structure and LayoutI think the layout being like a story gives more meaning to how the boy connects with the dog and what he does before seeing the dog. I think this poem is set up perfectly.

Cadence ShifflettApr 6, 2022

Set the StageThe tone feels very loving and energetic towards the boy and the dog. I feel like the atmosphere is set up to be just a little bit sad anddetached-feeling, given the rain and how the boy notices other groups offriends huddling. He seems lonely. It feels like there's a little bit of tensioncoming from the boy as he went towards the alley. I thought that was reallycool! Mood-wise, there's a lot of emotion packed into little bits throughoutthe ballad. The end felt bittersweet, but cheerful because it leaves the readerwith the hope that the boy and dog will meet again.Language and Literary DevicesI loved the first and last stanzas! The first one grants onomatopoeia, and thefamiliar kind that just about everyone's probably heard. I also loved thephrase "trots through buddles" because the word "trots" adds character,and also alludes to the dog that shows up later in the poem.I like the last stanza a lot because it eases all of the tension building fromthe boy and the dog's sorrowful goodbye. As far as questions go for this one, the poem was extremely clear overall!The only thing I had a question about was the "wall painted in talleys," oftentalleymarks are associated with deviant acts, so I was curious as to whetheror not the boy made those marks to remember where the dog was or if someone else had made up. It's shrouded in mystery, which builds a littlesuspense! I didn't know if that was intentional or not, so I wanted to point itout.Structure and LayoutThe structure works really well with the poem! The rhyme scheme fits verynicely with the story and doesn't take away anything. The poem's also setup like a ballad, and usually ballads are used for storytelling, so I would say the structure adds to the story the poem's telling.