The Ramblings of an Insomniac

I told my eyes to close I laid my body down I drew heart shapes with the sandman And applied long division with sheep until my mind tired of tiring itself out I was hoping that'd be enough Still these thoughts came Pictures of you in the bluest of lights Painting over the darkest of nights The refuge that I sought behind my eyelids Where I dared to seek a world In which your presence wasn't sewn into every smile I met Every mahogany mantelpiece I touched didn't Bring me back to the masterpiece of your skin I had the audacity to believe I could conjure up an existence in which Your laughter didn't run free into the night Only to rest safely in my heart I told myself these things I wanted so badly to believe in a world Where your presence and my heartbeat discover no relation And I can breathe without the remnants of your name on my tongue But Im just not that imaginative The back of my eyelids acquiesce to your image every time And at the same time that I tell myself not to breathe, smell, and taste you in my dreams I find little success with such an empty request It's not that knowing you is all I know It's just that sometimes I cant decide if I like seeing you from my eyelids or feeling you beside me So as my eyes close Ill resolve to tolerate the man taking residence in my dreams As he's settled into the crevices of my heart