rant

10:51pm

(12/29/2019)

why can’t you just keep your mouth shut like you expect me to keep my mouth shut

while you constantly spit hateful things out 

you judge me

you judge me.

i’m lonely,

can’t think in my own headspace,

had to learn the sounds of your footsteps

had to learn how to put stuff away quietly,

had to learn how to look busy, when i’m just living.

why can’t i just be me,

why i gotta be that

why you shove me in a box

why is it wet inside of here

how i learn to cry silently at a young age,

i wipe my own tears and smile,

i wipe away the hurt and smile,

i push away my pain and smile.

i bottle up,

i’m a bottle,

i’m a rag

now a doll,

was a puppet.

gimme my own thoughts,

ion have, bc you never let me have em,

you told me i wasn’t old enough to have privacy,

that’s why you can’t have my private things now

HA ! how does it feel you wouldn’t know because you don’t know what you don’t know

i wish i was outside,

i wish i could smell freedom

i am a box.