The Rape poem.

I was 15 when you raped me
You probably think I'm going to talk about how it was a faceless stranger or my best friend or an acquaintance or even an enemy
but no
It was you; it was my boyfriend
and when you were raped by your own partner
It's hard
You don't want to believe it
I still don't want to
How could you?
the same person who held me when I cried
laughed at my shitty jokes
watched horror movies with me
lost my virginity to
the same exact man who told me all rapists should die
ironic when you think about it huh?
The very man who raped me told me that to my face
Because of that, I still think
What if I am just "a lying bitch"? What if your words were true?
but still
Why did you grab my ankles for leverage when I kicked?
Why did you pin my arms when I pushed?
Why did you ignore when I begged?
But what if I really am just "a lying bitch"? What if the fact I came was truly why you never raped me?