Raw Uncut, and Untold

   When you look into my eyes, do you see the pain?

 Do you hear it in my voice that i've been standing in the rain?

 I mean on the outside, I know I smile but can you tell I am far from the same?

My heart is like a flower it's very delicate it's very fragile

 For 19 years I have held it in I'm tired of holding it all in

 

 

 Do you know how it feels to realize your dad is "Divorcing" you and

 "seperating" from your Mother

 Do you know  how it feels to realize he is treating his step child better then his biological daughter

I gotta thank Coach Walker he is the "Father" I never had

because for 19 years considering all I ever had was a "Dad"

 For 19 years I held it in i'm tired of holding it in

 

My mother is as strong as they come

19 years she held it down no help from no one

My grandmother Lady

Her name says it all because she was and still is "The World's greatest Lady"

Sometimes I wonder how would I be if my uncle wasn't murdered by police

I wonder how i'll be if I didn't have to be holding a "why you exucuted my child" sign on the side of the street

 For 19 years I held it in i'm tired of holding it in

 

 My uncle "BJ" he was a soldier 

I never thought he would get slained right after dropping off his daughter

Sonny Bo

That man a legend though

He was a walking problem now he is a resting legend

 For 19 years I held it in i'm sick of holding it in

 

Do you know the pain I endured in middle school

Knowing my grandmother is sick, and may not be there when I get home from school

Can you imagine the hurt, anger, and hunger

Knowing at any given moment I  can lose my grandma

Then on March 12th 2012, I got that call, welp I guess God missed my calls

For 19 years I held it in I'm sick and tired of holding it in

 

It gets no better in high school

considering my grandfather gets very ill so now im rushing to G.A

He in the bed, not even looking the same

Couple Months later My mama say "Granddaddy gone"  

In my head, i'm like not this shit again

For 19 years I really held it in i'm sick and tired og holding it in

 

Now i'm in college, not really the same but nothing has really changed

I still hold things in because I refuse to vent i'll rather stand in the rain

Don't read this and pitty me  I'm doing great, i'm living comfortably

I'm far from a charity case  I'm no where near a nut case

But, don't judge me because i'm not as bad as you think

 Yeah, I have secrets, We all do

Before you judge me take a walk in my shoes

Before you question me

Analyze what I tell you

Also, remember it's more to the story then what I tell you

For 19 years I held in

I'm finally letting it go

This me is me

This is my story

Raw, Uncut, and Untold

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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