For Reagan

Dear Reagan,

I never thought we would speak again

and now you won’t shut up.

I remember falling for you,

how we were thisclose.

I remember you falling for my best friend.

I hope you still feel the sting of each time she rejected you.

I hope you know you’re the reason we couldn’t stay friends.

I hope the guilt of making me cry keeps you up at night.

And yet, I hope you’re okay.

Not great, fantastic, or amazing.

Just okay. Okay is all I can wish for you.

It is all my anger will allow.

Six years and you reach out, for what?

To catch up? Reminisce?

I knew you for the length of a school year

and yet we agreed it felt like a lifetime.

But we were never on the same page, were we?

You liked her, I liked you. I liked him, you liked me.

Circling the drain and never falling together.

So, no. I won’t add you on Snapchat.

No, I won’t re-accept your Facebook friend request.

Sure, we can follow each other on Instagram, but stay out of my inbox.

I can’t do it all again. I won’t. Refuse to.

Until next time...

- Desirae