The Real Me

Crying in my room.

I just want to be accepted.

Just want to be loved.

I don't know why it has to be like this.

With so many people that already can't stand me.

How could I ever show them the real me?

They wouldn't even give me a chance.

I don't want to be like them.

I'm mature, responsible, and wiser than my peers.

It's like we are from a different planet.

A different universe.

Somehow stuck here together at this place and point in time.

I am happy.

I love life and God.

I love to play video games and read and learn.

I love working out.

I hate violence, but I will stand up for what I believe in.

Why they hate me,

I'll never know.

Fate has it this way.

Maybe one day they will understand what it's like to be me,

What it's like to walk in my shoes.

To know that you could lose your loved one to cancer when you're just a young teenager.

They will never know how hard that was,

To find out that your mother has cancer,

That she could die.

When your just so young.

Nor will they know how grateful I am that she recovered and is still alive.

They don't know how hard I work to get good grades,

How much I study,

How many hours of homework I do a night.

I know I am stressed.

I know I am often depressed.

But I am better.

I am happy.

I have sought refuge in the Lord, and found my happiness wtih him.

I don't need the approval of others to be happy.

Sure it would be nice to have a few best friends,

A loving boyfriend,

Someone I could tell all my thoughts and dreams to.

But I guess that's just fate.

I wasn't meant to be a writer,

Yet I write.

The only way I can get out my true feelings

Since I can't bear the words.

This is my life.

And I live it to the best of my ability.

Sure I have stuggled with thoughts of worthlessness,

but in the end this is me.

This is who I am destined to be.

I can't change my true self,

no matter how hard I try.

That's why I had to learn to love myself.

And I hope you do too.

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