the reality of my fantasy is ... </3

when you're 12 you don't really know what love is. but when you finally look back at it you realize that it was love all along and that you just didn't know it. even some of the simplest gestures made me think you really did like me. a smile on the bus, a hug in the hallway. it all meant something to me. I remember those afternoon bus rides home when it was just me and you and I felt as if nothing could go wrong. I felt as if nothing could stop us or what we had. but then you left me. yeah I know it wasn't really your choice but you still left me. there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you or wish that god would send you back to me. don't get me wrong I never stopped loving you but wen you left I hated you for it. so I got through my last year of middle school without you and hoped that high school would mean a fresh start for me and that maybe I could just forget about what we had. so high school came and shit just got worse. I went from boy to boy trying to find one that would make me feel the way you made me feel. but none of them ever came close. all that left me with was heartache and pain. I blamed you for that because if you had never left me then I wouldn't have needed to look for anyone else. you were all I needed to survive in this world. and when you finally came back you brought her with you. i hoped that when u came back we could finally finish what had been started years ago but i see i was wrong..how else could you have broken my heart for a second time than to say you had found someone else. it amazed me at how you had found someone else when I hadn't found anyone but you. and now that you're back no matter how much we try to think that everything is okay it's really not. a broken heart can only be fixed by the person who broke it.. I put this on everything that I love you more than you know.. yeah you say you love me but you also love her.. and now our fantasy has turned into reality. and reality is we'll never be able to live our fantasy like we used to..