Recovery

High school days are for picking out your prom dress,

pursuing cheesy relationships that will inevitably fail,

making friends that will last a lifetime,

going to football games.

I did not get this high school experience.

My days were flooded with doctors’ appointments and hospital bills,

counting calories in secret,

passing out at work,

filling my pockets with coins so the doctor’s office scale didn’t know the extent to which I was suffering.

But days will not always be this hard.

You are not the number on the scale.

Your beauty is not defined by others.

Your worth is not defined by the notion of your insecurities.

It is scary, and sometimes seems unbearable,

but I promise it is worth every second.

Allow yourself to recover.

Recovery means being afraid but overcoming that fear.

Recovery means being spontaneous,

embracing the incapacitating rush of nourishment despite the overwhelming possibilities.

Recovery is learning to love yourself.