Red Shoes

Location

20784
United States
38° 56' 51.8424" N, 76° 52' 50.6784" W

All I ever wanted was to be beautiful.
Like new mothers,
like flickering candles in dark rooms
like flowers pressed into books
like new shoes...

like new red shoes.
Like the ones Dorothy wore
trying to find home that was already in her.
All bright and unscuffed.
All I ever wanted was to be red shoes.
Trying to find the home
that has been in me all along,
realizing that I've just been getting lost along the way.
Between faded history,
and good intentions,
but bad decisions.
but I'm trying.
Yellow brick road ain't golden blocks,
just piss,
nothing I was expecting.
I think, I think I met the wizard,
he was a lot more smoke than mirrors.

See, see smoke
can mask the worst of ourselves
and when you stare at mirrors long enough
you see more of who you are.
And I am all ugly,
and I ruin love
by wanting it so bad
and that creates all types of empty.
Empty like tin man.
Or I'm tin man,
hole in my chest where a heart is supposed confide in.
but I'm still living.
Or call me scarecrow,
confused and lost
in too big of a world.
Or maybe I'm lion,
scared and nowhere to belong,
all loathed and declawed.

I know I met the wizard
he was all bite and no bark,
a silent storm.
Full of clouds and smoke,
no mirror in sight.
People pretend to know him,
and I'm guilty too.
Trying to find and save something
that wasn’t there in the first place,
he doesn't need saving,
but maybe I do.

This piss yellow road led me to him,
nothing I was expecting,
just to show me
what was already in me in the first place.
He's saving me,
a silent storm of a friend
that tells me
"You're lovely."

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