Redemption

Do you feel pain? Do you feel at all?

My past has haunted me ever since I can remember, things I’ve done, things I’ve seen, things I’ve heard.

I wonder if I am losing myself to the darkness within.

 I thought I had vanquished this creature of hate, this demon of self-loathing and this spirit of failure,

 but instead they have been lying dormant biding their time and waiting for their chance to sink their claws further into my soul;

what hope do I have of saving myself from such inhuman beasts whose sole purpose in life is to maim my beating heart

 Till it finally gives out and I am but a shell of something that once was and will never be. This pain has held me down for far too long;

I ask for freedom, I ask for redemption, I ask for hope.

 Who will be my knight in shining armor? Who will save me from my past?

For I am not strong enough, my soul is weak, my will is spent, what strength I had has all been lost in the storm of my life.

 My torturous soul begs for mercy, but who has the grace to give it?

He doesn’t exist on this earth,

he exists in a place where pain doesn’t exist,

 fear isn’t allowed,

 and things such as hate, anger, and doubt are nothing but empty words.

He takes away my pain,

he takes away my anger,

and he knows, without a doubt that he created me and there is only one of me, which makes me beautiful.

When it gets to be too much, he takes my burden, and places it on him,

those spirits, those, monsters, disappear in his presence.

He heals, with just a touch, just a whisper, just a look.

Who gives me redemption?

 He does,

he gives me hope, he saves me, and all I have to do is ask.

His grace is never ending, my soul may be weak, but his is strong,

 my will may be spent, but he helps me push on,

and what strength I have? I learn has been handed over to me by him, when I fear I cannot go on he picks me up and carries me.

Who is my knight in shining armor?

My God, My Father, my Lord.

He is and always will be there for me, even in my darkest moments, he is there for me.

Waiting, waiting for me to come home to Him, His embrace is what I need, his love is what I cherish,

He is my everything.