In reference to my looks: I wait, weight, wHATE for the day where my eyes, the world's eyes dont see mychubbythighs squeezed into one size fits all? Five sizes too small for the ethnic girl with the wash and go curl. Thank you MIss Jessie my hair is slick, but that seems to emphasize my thick thick thick cheeks and cheeks, they stare I squeak as if I'm not every woman and have nothing to say. But 120 pounds say the doctors and nurses and the family friends and the strangers after they are done their meeting of the cat call brigade. "I'm sorry but you forgot my genes jeans genes", I say real quick. But genes aren't an excuse for chubby, chunky or thick. I make me sick. In reference to my looks: I feel beautiful some days and i recite myself a poem like "let me count the ways" not weighs. Feeling sexy and curvy and thick, but sometimes i wonder what everyone else sees. Once I had a nightmare that everything I ate tried to escape through my skin. Pulling apart and chewing me just like I did them. Leaving me these stretch marks that won't go away. This battle has surpassed many days. There is no more to say, in reference to my looks.