Reflections Of The Me I Used To Be

It's all too much

The constant pounding in my head

The shuddering breath

The gasping I desperately plead

Its the moments when I think about 

Everything and nothings

Its the faces

Oh, god its those faces

The memories like a bullet to the heart

I see them all the time

I hear their words

My mind is plagued and tortured

But the smile always remains

One more day I say 

If I can make it just one more day

Its the years of constantly screwing up

And building fortresses to guard my heart

Its the advice I pass to friends 

That I need to learn how to take myself

Its insecurities, doubt, and everything else

Its moments when I feel like im downing

And moments when I wish I was

Its the resetless nights when everything is too much

Its hating the reflection I constantly see

I don't know this stranger anymore

Did I ever

Its not me Its not

Looks like my walls did something right

They kept everyone out and kept me in