Refusal

I refuse to let myself be lost in you I refuse to let you diffuse this ticking bomb inside me It's ticking soliciting whispering evil words to me Probably things I shouldn't let be But is it wrong to have something for me to want something for me? For myself "For herself!" Somone says To want my smile To want my laugh To want joy in my life again It's moving soothing anything but hurtful words booming through the ear drums in my ear Telling me things I really just don't wanna hear But those evil soliciting words I just might bare Because then and only then would you care Maybe you'd start treating me fair Or like I was rare For once.... I start to get a dark grin thinking I will finally win