Refuse to call him dad

I was daddy’s little girl my dad was my whole world he kept me warm when it was cold. He was my foundation my home that I could stay in he was everything that I wanted it was his web that I was caught in. He told me lies like fairy tales I was dumb enough to believe them. He wove his facade like fabric adding stitches of good deeds to ensure he was never seen. The facade fell at night his evil would take flight, all the power he never had would make him a monster.. It ate at him from the inside no matter how he tried to escape and to hide it tore him apart it rotted his heart. My poor hard working mother loved a man of anger a man that took her love and slandered it with the drinks he bought for other women. He never loved only lied. He only ever saw his beautiful family as a possession. His only love was the alcohol he wasted his life savings on. His only joy was the hookers he spent the night with not caring how it hurt the woman he said he loved. I know now that I never loved the man I only loved the lie he created. I can’t stand the sight of him I can’t look into his eyes. I can’t talk to him with out my mind screaming. I wish he would’ve told us I wish he cared enough to change I wish he could reach out for help when he was drowning instead he left us wondering why. He can’t come back. His sin is beyond forgiving. I’ll pack his things and throw them out the door I don’t want to see him any more. I can’t love what wont love back. I will never allow him to see me thrive to me he is dead he will never be alive. When I see him I only see what’s wrong with this world I only see what’s bad that’s why I refuse to call him dad.