I regret nothing.

(I regret everything.)

I’ve lived a full life.

(I’m only 17!)

My family will understand.

(They’re going to kill me.)

It’s not like none of them have never slipped up!

(Not like this, they haven’t.)

Maybe they won’t notice…

(And maybe cows can fly.)

It’s not really that noticeable.

(It totally is.)

I wish I hadn’t done this.

(I really, really do.)

I can’t believe I shaved my head!

(I can’t believe I shaved my head!)