Regret

The start of my legacy has only been a decade,

And of those years to slip like grains of sand,

Was a dark storm that raged endlessly

When the storm rose and lurked from the shadows,

I stood blindly while the world fell apart,

And as much as I was told, and warned, I still slipped away

Double minded was I, a fool was I

“Yes I understand. I will be better.”

A deeper hole I was digging of my many lies

I gaze into my soul, through my eyes of the sinner

Questioning myself repeatedly of my darkened self,

The side of me that is stained from my corruptness

“Don’t live in regret.” My father would tell me

“Please don’t lie anymore. You’re hurting me.”

The words of my mother

The world was placed in my hands

Because of trust, and honesty, but without a care,

Lost it all, and had destroyed the world my family built

Staring into my family’s eyes, that had to work harder,

Because of my false decisions, brought me pain, and I ask

“Why didn’t I listen? Why am I filled with evil?”

It was then the storm began to clear up,

I finally understood my place

My lies and sins that were committed

I had almost ruined what is my greatest life

With the most loving people in the world

My beloved family

Every day I wake up, I live in an endless regret and rage within.

“We all make mistakes son. It’s ok.” My father says.

I hate myself deeply, but the world moves on, and so should I

I try hard to learn forgiveness, but for now

I stay consumed in my own guilt and anger.

When, when can I stop suffering?