Rejection to acceptance

When I was young I would look up to the sky and try to catch a glimpse at a shooting star but I couldn't because I lived in New York City
But when I did move I saw a shooting star flying across illuminating the sky
But if I had only knew the science behind them was that a shooting star was just a big ball of gas with a rock behind it and nobody wanted those to fall to the earth
They are rejects like so many us trying to find our self worth
Not knowing that there is no accumulative price to our life
And I would know this because everyday suicidal thoughts flooded my brain and drove me slightly insane

Because my heart was broken
Because the one that help conceive me and carry me for nine months rejected me

I was a failing class every semester that needed to be drop
She broke my heart and made me feel worthless like I was a penny on the street that nobody wanted to pick up and put in there pocket

I was nothing and I felt like nothing

One day my conscious told me how you gone love somebody if your own mom don't love you

So I took my heart by its hand and I waited in line by the exchange center then my heart shook my hand and said one day your going to need me
One day your going to try to love somebody and they are going to bring you the stars and the moon and you will not be able to love just like your mother

And all I could say was nobody wants a reject anyway
Nobody wants a girl that has so much pain that sleeps away in heart with too many tears that has  fallen from her eyes

Then one day someone who had much more pain than me said
If you take your life now all you will ever be is a stealer

And I said really come on now how?
You will steal the money from people who bought tickets to see your show
You will steal the ending
Those people wanted to see you grow and be bold and explore and nonetheless become the opposite of what you think you are a reject
A women who earns respect
And fill the depth of the many bullet holes that lies between your heart and major arteries
No more will you dig a pit to bury your heart
No longer will you doubt your ability to be strong minded
No longer will you let anyone take pieces of your heart and leave like an open 24 hour take out restaurant
You will stop them in their tracks and say hey if I am going to love you and be loyal to you it comes with a price


Because I am no longer a reject I became something so beautiful
I took the word reject and kick the R off and that lead me to the word eject and here I am ejecting myself into things that I would have never thought this women inside me could do

So if anyone has ever fixed their lips to call you dum or stupid you will  respond by saying may I get the definition of those words because I know that I am intelligent and intellectual and when I put those two together
I create something so beautiful that your small mind couldn't create if I gave you the instructions
Because all you can ever do is create destruction in people lives

But I know that deep inside the pain of rejection hides wedge between your ribs and it leaves you in denial as it tells you it's lies
It's incognito but I know it's disguise and I know the truth I see it right through your eyes

But sweetie give me the blueprint to where it hides and I will bring it and tell it that you are more than bones that where formulated for you to unfold
You use your brain to conform different creations
You will create a new patients to love yourself and find yourself and be able to find yourself in a crowd of ordinary people you will be different

Now with a new higher expectation and who ever comes into your life will have to give you the sensation of love because your love is not free
My love cost a price
And no I don't want your pocket change
But in exchange you will love and show me the way in the fallen world we live in

And if you don't know the way
We can set out on an adventure
And slowly we will become architects
Building our lives together
cutting down the rejection that is wrap in strong rope
It plays games with our mind and stigmatize false hope

But no we are not rejects
Because when the sun sets
That is when our glow turns on and just like stars we illuminate the dark night

This is for the ones who are the outcast to society. There is a light that shines within you

but many mistakes that light for thesun, eventually day will falll and you will illuminate

the night.

Yours Truly Ericka Jackson