Relapse

My mind is racing and I feel as of the walls are caving in on me. I try to scream but there is no sound. I have be silenced by broken promises and disbelievers. I feel myself slowly slipping back into that place that I escaped not so long ago. I feel my body yearning to be reunited with the tender touch of my silver blade. My eyes long to see that bright red sign of life that follows the overly romanticized touch of the cold silver instrument. I was taught that love would lift me out of the depths of the darkness, and it worked for a while. I was so happy until I discovered that love was a drug. I was high off it and then it was withdrawn. I crashed from my high straight back into the hole I was in. I began experiencing the symptoms of withdrawal and I begged you to continue feeding me the drug I had come to know so well, but you refused. You refused to fuel the fire that you started. I no longer recognize myself, But on the bright side, I am no longer addicted to your love. I no longer believe in love, so I'm not sure of I'm actually living. I guess I'll just have to keep checking for that bright red sign of life