Release

I needed it. Release. You know, let go. Be gone. Release. Where was this magnanimous means that would submerge my problems Flush out my feelings Bequeath my body with boldness Gift my body with hope Metamorphosize my mentality And bear no malice towards my past iniquities Release.. Strong to ooze out the crevices of my despair like festering mold Release. I needed it. So I looked. Unfulfilled, belly empty So I parted my lips welcoming Sweet, savory, salty, tastes on my tongue all these edibles eased it all Made life fun, almost enjoyable Comfort food became my love Grandmas Gushing gallops of gravy, water falling over mounds of potatoes Sandwiches scattered together fit for a kings court A summer's Popsicle trickling onto my taste buds making the heat die Eating Eatin Eating Kept eatin delectables But it only added big thighs and a fatter ass And that release died Unloved, heart cold So I bursted my body to him He said open up girl, let me in Damnyousofine I will never hurt you Just open up, girl He smiled, open up So I did. Thought he loved me Opened my mind Opened my soul Opens my mouth Closed me eyes Open my legs Entering a world of orgasmic adventures Lovemaking left me falsely engaged Thought he lived me So I kept handing myself over Made me wet From the kisses on my neck From the caresses on my back From the licks on my lips From the thrusts in my flesh Made me wet, in the eyes From the yelling, forcing itself in my ears From the slaps across my face From the punches to my eye From the hands clasped around my neck Ceasing oxygen to flow longer And my world became even darker Wake Up Wake up Wake up, she said When I did I just looked back into that dark love again Asked, love me Love me Love me Love me Love me Do you? Love me? I whispered I do, he said I do I do I do But he left,anyway. And that release died. Stressed, mind cluttered So I inhaled that green, whatever it was Pineapple Express purple kush Loud Whatever. Didn't matter. Inhaled, blow out, pass it. Inhale, blow, pass. Cycled. Laughter escapes Whites of my eyes befriend crimson shades Hehe Got them munchies Crispy chips, chapped lips Crush that shit Roll up, hit I'm lifted again No worries because I was above the world Floating Flying Gliding But then I fall back down Crash And I go lower than before And that release died. Misguided, eyes discouraged So I placed my palm in her hands Part desperation, part curiosity, My eyes watched as she felt the lines Fortelling my journeys beyond the present I didnt fully believe it somehow those creases and crevices she traced encompassed my destinies voo doo emblems Tarot card Black magic This is where I had turned Bogus psychic and cosmic realities pulled from cluttered constellations and unknown nebulas starsplanetsmoons to profess the path my feet should follow Supernatural spirits must have some knowledge No No No Ridiculous Snatched my hand away And that release died. Release. Release. Release. Where. Are. You. look up, she said Lift your head in the lowest moments Created in beauty, manifested by grace look up! Child, look up! Look up to the skies. they ain't filled will cumulus clouds and sultry sunsets for nothing Representations, reminders of grand creations Your kingdom was created in divine love That is your release So look up girl! Look up you silly girl! Your release is your Lord. Look up! Let HIm take in And no longer will your days be in ruin He will feed you He will love you He will lift you He will guide your future So just simply look up! Pray. Try. Study. You are not perfect. So look up! And I did. Release? Release? Release? I call, Look up to the heavens.