Remains

Remains Remain as I am and broken beyond repair I'll become. Remain as I am and people will start to ponder. Remain as I am and fragments will spread like wildfire. Remain to pretend things are fine, And as hallow like that of mold, I'll harden. A shell with the thickness of concrete, And a heart condensed toward others. Confused and disoriented as I stare into a cloud that currently is my world. Fogged in my vision, The question of am I living or just existing seems to be flirting with my brain a lot lately. As whimsical as he was, Just remnants of him play in my mind at times. And a glimpse of weakness shatters into my mind. My being becomes languid. And inspiration is sunken by this apathy. A plane of gray poises over the fields like a mild midst, And I feel I'm here alone, To face what others naked eyes cant witness is happening to me, And only few can relate to. Is this really what has come of myself? Shells and debris-ed heartache that cant be filled by life's simple pleasures anymore? Every thing I do reminds me of you. And I plead with the sun to just continue sleeping. So I won't have to encounter the next day, And I can remain in my dreaming state. Because, its much easier to sleep this reality away, And deceive our despairs, Than it is to face and embrace the pains of the next day. Being here without you is hard on me, And I don't want to be awake right now. Not out of fear, but out of numbness the reason I retaliate. The restlessness is getting at me. A decision rests on my shoulder. A boulder of tears awaits to fall from my eyes. And a plague on me it may be but, someone has to be strong for her. Someone has to bear it. I cant be weak.. I cant just let go. Call it being stubborn. Or being a masochist. But I cant.. I just cant let go. And I want to. Mixtures of these feelings have me falling into dark places. In times where other stresses seem to keep piling up. And my surroundings have started to take the color of black. And the flowers seem to be decaying around in these fields. Yet, I shrug it off as if it's nothing to me. I go on, weight on my soul and all. Remain an affliction to myself, And a misfortune to others I will become. Remain as I am, And I'll be all that remains. And as the curtains start to close, I draw closer to this sadness. A tear finally sheds, And an image of his face is pictured vividly. And I'll learn to live with the memory of you.