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Remember Beautiful

by saderholdt1

 

She wears every heartache like scars on her skin
She's so far down this time 
she fears this is it
There's not Much to say for this girls broken dreams
Just one more push and I swear
She'll tear at the seams
And even the best will fall
When the world caves in
It  isn't called quitting
When she's given all she can give
If I could tell her one thing 
look up at the stars 
They may not all align
But remember beautiful tonight 
 
 
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saderholdt1

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Comments (3)

QV
<p>"They may not all align/But remember beautiful tonight" lovely line! I pondered over those two lines for quite awhile. I greatly enjoy the images scattered throughout the piece, the girl (interesting use of third person by the way) tearing at the seams, with scars on her heart, and looking at the stars. My only suggestion is perhaps weaving the separate images a bit tighter, perhaps selecting the image of the dreams (which is connected to the stars) and continuing with the metaphor. However! Wonderful piece. Keep on writing ans sharing your works :) QV</p>
saderholdt1
<p>Thank you:) I appreciate it:)</p>
Mole6
<p>Love it! :)</p>

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