Reminiscent

With her I was invincible. Plain and simple. I became someone new, someone better. The slightest smiles she'd give me would make my day ten times better. The laughs we shared, the way she'd roll her eyes at my stuoid jokes, the way she looked at me whenever I did something stupid: like lick her lips or play with her hair. I fell in love with her personality with a greater feroucity than I did with her looks. Don;t misunderstand, she was beautiful... I mean she was the defenition of beauty in my eyes. Her silky hair, big brown eyes, dark toned skin, her breasts, stomach, legs, ass, everything about her physically drove me insane! Her lips as soft as cotton candy, her toungue tasted like bubblegum, our breathin would synchronize as we indulged inone another. I was in absolute bliss when she blessed me with her company... then of course all good things don't come easy, nor without a price. I wasn't healthy, mentally, and that caused many holes in our relationship. I couldn't love myself the way she wanted me to. I religiously caused pain towards myself, and I let it show in front of her. She looked at my scars and would hurt as if I were inflicting pain on her. I made empty promises about keeping my wrists clean, I'd overdose on pain pills, drowning myself in depression. She never could understand why I was the way I am, and would grow upset. I had been lost for 5 years, and she unfortunately stayed for the ride... I felt awful when I left her to be admitted in a mental hopital. It was like I was never going to see her again, like I was finally placed in a physical prison that matched my mind... when I got out not much changed. Things subsided after that, however with my new healing process she wasn't getting the affection she deserved. I tried to make up for that by constantly giving her my body. Sex becaome a sort of therapy for us, more so for me, and I dove into her like an ocean... A year has passed since we separated. She's gone with another, and I've been trying to fix myself completely before I fall into a love that strong, or stronger. I learned that I cannnot give myself to someone if I first cannot love myself. While I acknowledge my faults, even though I atill attack them for being there in the first place, I start to explore more options as I secure my sanity. I train, I listen, I speak, and I love. She taught me a valuable lesson in life, and I can honestly say I'm atill in love with what we had. The only thing for me to do now is move forward: the wind will always sweep the Earth, as will I...